"But but but but but," said Aloysius Nuttercrumb, as he crumbled his morning toast into his mother's bed.
It was an uneventful morning, as it was spent crumbling toast. The afternoon was more eventful though. Dear Aloysius found himself in the canal, having slipped trying to fight a school bully.
All that happened to the school bully was a bang on the nose, and a very large cheque from his father for standing his ground.
"Wet wet wet wet wet," went Aloysius Nuttercrumb, as he wandered home.
Once he got thrown out of the house again by his father, he wandered away and seemed to collect together the magic touch, which always ended up with the school bully in the duck pond.
Having put the school bully in the duck pond, he wandered away, and seemed to have some strange feeling he was meant to be in school. He then decided to go to school to find out why he had a strange feeling he was meant to be there.
When he got there, he found that he couldn't get in, because once the pupils (to a varied degree) had got in, the doors were locked to stop them escaping again.
So he nipped over the gate and found himself in the playground. He promptly amused himself by removing the fire hydrant lid with a piece of old stick, and wondering how to turn it on. He then, having found no other way of turning it on, picked up a hammer that he found, and banged it, expecting nothing to happen.
To his greatest astonishment, something did happen. To be exact, what did happen was him flying up in the air, and saying "Wet wet wet wet wet" again.
He then found himself surrounded by the other occupants of the school. And found himself wondering what was the safest way down. If he jumped he would probably land, and he didn't want to land, because if he landed he would land right in front of the school bully (devoid of ducks), and would suddenly be very very walloped.
On second thoughts, there didn't seem to be any other way down. So he jumped. And he landed. And he not only landed, but landed on the school bully. Somehow finding himself on top of the school bully for a change, he decided to make full use of his advantage.
So, he walloped him.
Then he went home and crumbled some more toast.
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