This is the tale of Aloysius Nuttercrumb.
His daddy was a loony who kept making insane jokes about everything, which sometimes hurt Aloysius's feelings, if they were a little too personal (hint, hint).
It was Sunday, so he wasn't in school. He was bored with knocking the school bully into the duck pond, so he wandered away and went to the Post Office. He went to the Post Office because he wanted to, because they were selling off nice cards. Not only that, but they were putting a notice that anybody bringing in a funny photo would win a prize.
So Aloysius set to work. He knew exactly what he was going to photograph, but he knew that his mission was to go to the local pub first. There he collected what he was after. The sharpest dart in the place. He then went home, collected his camera, and then toddled off to find the school bully.
He then found the school bully inspecting some flowerbeds. He took aim with his dart, newly sharpened, and tossed it right at the back of the school bully. DIRECT HIT! The school bully's belt was cut clean in half by the dart, and the camera went off with a bang, as the elastic on the school bully's undergarment was also split in half.
Then off to the Post Office he went, as fast as his legs would go. He promptly marched off to his home with an enormous silver award with the following inscription in ancient lettering:
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